About 3:15 p.m. this afternoon I had a moment of clarity: I am being difficult to live with right now. A low blood sugar (which usually brings about physical fatigue and heightened irritability) showed up just as my introversion gas tank starting blinking a bright red Empty. Immediately I began to sink, closing out the person I was riding in the car with and wishing for soundless solitude. That’s what I do — when I’m worn out, I get quiet. And as this was happening, I thought to myself, “Thank God for grace.” Even in the smallest things. Perhaps especially in the smallest things – each of our countless slips or sins or somewhat annoying eccentricities that we don’t even realize affect others.
Upon feeling recharged I apologized, since acknowledging shortcomings, mistreatments, and mistakes tends to work better than pretending they didn’t happen. The next time that sinking feeling hits, hopefully I’ll remember to use direct communication to ask for some silence and space, rather than simply shutting down without warning.
Others’ graciousness when I’m in those undeserving, difficult-to-live-with moments (some are much uglier than others) inspires me to grow in giving grace quicker, deeper and freer than I do today. I’m so grateful for God’s baffling grace, and also for the countless human grace-agents he’s placed in my path to serve as channels and examples.
Were you given grace today?